Today, I wanted to talk about something different. I believe most people – men and women – tend to forget one of the most important thing in the world.. and this is by loving yourself. Yet, all at the same time, I also believe that some people really don’t understand what it means to truly love themselves.
I was talking to someone last week, she tends to do a lot of matchmaker services and she was telling me.. “People tells me to always love myself but I have focused all on myself all year! I tried to do everything for myself. I even got sick and did therapy to get better – I did everything for myself. I relaxed, rest.. and focused on myself. I am sick and tired of hearing the same thing!”
When I heard her ranting about those things.. it just hit me. She wasn’t really trying to love herself at all. She was focusing on just.. getting better because she was sick. She was trying so hard to be okay and better – health-wise. Loving yourself is more like the feeling when you are in love with someone. You don’t just do things because.. you “need” to.. you do things because you “want” to.. it’s something that pleases you and makes you happy. Again, it is something not because you need to do it but because you want to do it!
It may be hard for some people to understand but I believe there is still a thin line of difference about it.
– I need to sleep because I still have work tomorrow – need more energy for the day!
– I want to sleep for I now miss my bed and I need some beauty rest!
I believe everyone should realized that loving yourself is not a one time thing – it’s something you do endlessly – regardless of its circumstances. Most of the time.. we tend to focus too much on trying to give attention to other people, trying to find someone to love, trying to love a partner, trying to focused to much on our friends and families.. trying to focus on other people and not realizing… we never really put focus on ourselves.
I personally think it is time for everyone of us to actually evaluate and ask ourselves if we are really loving ourselves enough. I know we all have different lifestyle – some are all relaxed, some are busy and hectic.. but I do believe it is important to notice if we are paying attention to ourselves at all. After all, isn’t it too late to noticed later on how sad we truly are? How stress we really are? How drained we really are? How tired we are getting? Sometimes, we tend to age and get old not just because not being able to take care of our body well.. but sometimes.. the happiness within us, with our own soul, body and inner selves contributes to it, too! Not to mention that.. not loving yourself tends to affect your relationships with people you love, too.
So how do you really love yourself?
To be honest, I believe there are tons of ways.. but here are a few cents from me on really loving yourself and bringing much importance and value to “YOU” as a person.
1. Never forget to always nurture yourself. Self care is always important. Having time just by yourself doesn’t always mean you are lonely.. there are just times when you need to spend time with just, you! Anything that brings you peace and joy is a good thing to do once in awhile. Doing meditations even few minutes a day helps you spiritually and mentally, too!
2. Treat yourself like you are your own best friend. How would you even treat your best friend? Would you give him or her love, trust, appreciation, kindness, acceptance and respect? Those things are the things you should treat yourself, too. You give your best friends compliments. You don’t put them down. You don’t get negative around them, you make them happy.. and you don’t criticize them. You are always kind and gentle to them – all these things should be done to yourself, too!
3. Believe in yourself and do what you love! I think being selfish isn’t always a bad thing.. I always tell my friends when they seek advice that they should stop thinking of what other people will think. It’s time for them to just do what makes them happy and what they truly want to do – not what other people would want them to do. Always believe in yourself and things will always yield to positive results. At the end of the day.. it is “you” who is important.. not them.
4. Learn to forgive yourself. Sometimes we tend to beat ourselves up from mistakes from the past.. and we need to learn that.. all these things are part of our own growth. We need to get over it – we need to forgive ourselves.. If we ever hurt someone else, all we just need to do is be sincere and do our part to say we are sorry and if that isn’t enough.. show them that you truly are sorry. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Once you have done your part.. let it go. Be grateful for the experience and move on.
5. Have a gratitude journal. I believe I have discovered this years ago. Before I would start the day, I would write on my journal.. at least 5 or 10 things I am grateful about.. whether things I am grateful about myself or situations I am thankful about. There is always something to be thankful about even in the most tricky situations.. there is always a blessing to it. Sometimes, people just focused too much on the negative side of it that… they failed to actually realized the blessing in disguise that exists in it.
6. Stay Positive. I honestly don’t like being negative. Regardless how practical it may seem to others, I still want to have much faith as possible. I always want to be hopeful and positive in the situation.. not only it gives me warm feelings within my heart. Sometimes, things are likely to go your way when you see the brighter side of life, too.
7. Always.. do what honor and respects you. I believe that.. giving in to everyone is not a healthy thing to do. Building boundaries is also important. If you believe something is bringing you to the wrong path, do not be afraid to say “no” – never participate in any kind of activities that will just bring you down. Don’t allow toxic people in your life. Love everyone, but be discerning on who you allow into your life.
So tell me.. have you truly loved yourself? Have you been paying attention to your own self? Or were you been busy taking care of other people? Family perhaps? Lover? Loved ones? If you haven’t taken some time for yourself – please do so.. take one step a time… that is all you will ever need.