How Do You Truly Love Yourself ? | 7 Steps to Truly Love Yourself

Today, I wanted to talk about something different. I believe most people – men and women – tend to forget one of the most important thing in the world.. and this is by loving yourself. Yet, all at the same time, I also believe that some people really don’t understand what it means to truly love themselves.


I was talking to someone last week, she tends to do a lot of matchmaker services and she was telling me.. “People tells me to always love myself but I have focused all on myself all year! I tried to do everything for myself. I even got sick and did therapy to get better – I did everything for myself. I relaxed, rest.. and focused on myself. I am sick and tired of hearing the same thing!”

When I heard her ranting about those things.. it just hit me. She wasn’t really trying to love herself at all. She was focusing on just.. getting better because she was sick. She was trying so hard to be okay and better – health-wise. Loving yourself is more like the feeling when you are in love with someone. You don’t just do things because.. you “need” to.. you do things because you “want” to.. it’s something that pleases you and makes you happy. Again, it is something not because you need to do it but because you want to do it!

It may be hard for some people to understand but I believe there is still a thin line of difference about it.
– I need to sleep because I still have work tomorrow – need more energy for the day!
– I want to sleep for I now miss my bed and I need some beauty rest!

I believe everyone should realized that loving yourself is not a one time thing – it’s something you do endlessly – regardless of its circumstances. Most of the time.. we tend to focus too much on trying to give attention to other people, trying to find someone to love, trying to love a partner, trying to focused to much on our friends and families.. trying to focus on other people and not realizing… we never really put focus on ourselves.


I personally think it is time for everyone of us to actually evaluate and ask ourselves if we are really loving ourselves enough. I know we all have different lifestyle – some are all relaxed, some are busy and hectic.. but I do believe it is important to notice if we are paying attention to ourselves at all. After all, isn’t it too late to noticed later on how sad we truly are? How stress we really are? How drained we really are? How tired we are getting? Sometimes, we tend to age and get old not just because not being able to take care of our body well.. but sometimes.. the happiness within us, with our own soul, body and inner selves contributes to it, too! Not to mention that.. not loving yourself tends to affect your relationships with people you love, too.

So how do you really love yourself?
To be honest, I believe there are tons of ways.. but here are a few cents from me on really loving yourself and bringing much importance and value to “YOU” as a person.

1. Never forget to always nurture yourself. Self care is always important. Having time just by yourself doesn’t always mean you are lonely.. there are just times when you need to spend time with just, you! Anything that brings you peace and joy is a good thing to do once in awhile. Doing meditations even few minutes a day helps you spiritually and mentally, too!

2. Treat yourself like you are your own best friend. How would you even treat your best friend? Would you give him or her love, trust, appreciation, kindness, acceptance and respect? Those things are the things you should treat yourself, too. You give your best friends compliments. You don’t put them down. You don’t get negative around them, you make them happy.. and you don’t criticize them. You are always kind and gentle to them – all these things should be done to yourself, too!

3. Believe in yourself and do what you love! I think being selfish isn’t always a bad thing.. I always tell my friends when they seek advice that they should stop thinking of what other people will think. It’s time for them to just do what makes them happy and what they truly want to do – not what other people would want them to do. Always believe in yourself and things will always yield to positive results. At the end of the day.. it is “you” who is important.. not them.

4. Learn to forgive yourself. Sometimes we tend to beat ourselves up from mistakes from the past.. and we need to learn that.. all these things are part of our own growth. We need to get over it – we need to forgive ourselves.. If we ever hurt someone else, all we just need to do is be sincere and do our part to say we are sorry and if that isn’t enough.. show them that you truly are sorry. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Once you have done your part.. let it go. Be grateful for the experience and move on.

5. Have a gratitude journal. I believe I have discovered this years ago. Before I would start the day, I would write on my journal.. at least 5 or 10 things I am grateful about.. whether things I am grateful about myself or situations I am thankful about. There is always something to be thankful about even in the most tricky situations.. there is always a blessing to it. Sometimes, people just focused too much on the negative side of it that… they failed to actually realized the blessing in disguise that exists in it.

6. Stay Positive. I honestly don’t like being negative. Regardless how practical it may seem to others, I still want to have much faith as possible. I always want to be hopeful and positive in the situation.. not only it gives me warm feelings within my heart. Sometimes, things are likely to go your way when you see the brighter side of life, too.

7. Always.. do what honor and respects you. I believe that.. giving in to everyone is not a healthy thing to do. Building boundaries is also important. If you believe something is bringing you to the wrong path, do not be afraid to say “no” – never participate in any kind of activities that will just bring you down. Don’t allow toxic people in your life. Love everyone, but be discerning on who you allow into your life.

So tell me.. have you truly loved yourself? Have you been paying attention to your own self? Or were you been busy taking care of other people? Family perhaps? Lover? Loved ones? If you haven’t taken some time for yourself – please do so.. take one step a time… that is all you will ever need.

77 Comments to How Do You Truly Love Yourself ? | 7 Steps to Truly Love Yourself

  1. The one thing I’d like to begin doing is writing in a gratitude journal. I love the idea of loving ourselves all the time, not just in bursts.

  2. #7 is particularly powerful to me. Thank you very much!

  3. First and foremost in life, love yourself and explore the many ways to grow naturally as human being. While most things outside your world do manage to influence, just select the positive ones suited to your passion.

  4. Over three years ago I moved away from all of my friends with just my family 400 miles away from our hometown. Since then I have had to get to know myself all over again. I have tried different things and I finally landed on this something I had dreamed of my whole life and I am finally doing it. Some people would say her life must be miserable she takes care of her mom all the time. I love myself and my life and I have never been happier and this is something that I hasn’t always been true.

  5. Robin (Masshole Mommy)

    Those are all such great reminders. I hope everyone can do a few of those.

  6. I try to always stay positive too. I really think your outlook influences your life.

  7. I am working on the Do What You Love. Often times as a parent you tend to push your desire and what you love aside.

  8. WoW great tips, learning to forgive yourself is probably one of the hardest. The gratitude journal sounds like a great idea, I might start one myself.

  9. I beleive if you don’t love yourself, you can never truly love anyone else. Staying positive for me is fairly easy. I have no idea why… but I can easily feel positive.
    Great tips… all of them.

  10. It’s really important to love oneself as it builds our self esteem and our confidence. Everything starts with yourself.

  11. I need To write these down and follow it! I rarely do these things for myself! Thanks for sharing and making me aware!

  12. It always amazes me that what should be the easiest thing in the world for people is the hardest. It can be difficult to love yourself. We are always our biggest critics, and we always give ourselves the least amount of slack.

  13. These are all great tips, and it’s so important to remember to treat ourselves as well as we do those we really love.

  14. An awesome post! Something I definitely need to read a couple of times. For me… I recite in the mirror that I am awesome and men suck on a daily basis. As the day goes on, I prove how awesome I am and men also continue to prove that they suck! ;) Simone x

  15. Love this. It’s so important to love yourself. When you don’t you set yourself up as a target for negativity in your life.

  16. Great post, it’s always a good thing to remind yourself to do these things.

  17. michele d

    It’s hard to love yourself when you have children. They’re needs come first and if your mom like me, there are times I am too tired at the end of the day.

    • Yes.. I do think being a mom – that would be a hard one but I still do believe.. that having children is no reason for one to stop loving themselves.. ;)

  18. Pam

    These are all great steps to help you learn to love yourself. When I find myself talking bad about myself, I stop and think “would I say this about my best friend?”

  19. These are great! I feel like I really do love myself, but there are others ways listed on here!

  20. Jennifer Williams

    I used to take time for myself daily when I went for a run. Since being injured I have not though and it is definitely a big difference in attitude.

  21. Fantastic tips – I find it really hard sometimes to love myself but I do try.

  22. I had to learn to forgive myself for things i could not control. that is not an easy thing to do, but i have done it.

  23. Your article’s awesome and could motivate readers to do the same. Loving yourself first is the starting point to move forward with yourlife.

  24. What a powerful message this is. It is so difficult to be completely at peace with every part of your being. I have the hardest time forgiving myself–even when the things I’m hung up on aren’t truly big deals.

  25. I haven’t always loved myself, but in the past two years I’ve grown to love me. I love doing things for others, but I also love doing things for myself…just because. :)

  26. I always say, if you don’t love yourself, how do you expect others to? Great post, and thanks for the reminders!

  27. I think you should also add acceptance. I think that is what your friend lacks as well. While nurturing yourself, you should accept that you can only do so much. :)

    • I actually already talked about that in this article, too.. ;) Kindly read it again to make sure you didn’t missed that out. :)

  28. I don’t love myself often enough. Probably because I spend more time being critical of myself. Must work to change that.

  29. Kelly R

    These are wonderful tips. I need to learn to forgive myself more often. I also need to stay positive, but sometimes it can be really hard!

  30. Positivity is big important thing in order to love yourself, it helps a lot.

  31. These are great suggestions! I will be the first to say that I don’t love myself, for sure! I need to work on this…

  32. Ann Bacciaglia

    These are great rules to follow. I always try to stay positive and see the good in every situation.

  33. These are all great tips. I realized many years ago that I needed to take care of myself before I could take care of others. The time I take to myself revitalizes and recharges me so that I’m a better wife and mother.

  34. I always joke that I’m bursting with self-love, but ultimately it’s true. I believe it’s super important to love yourself completely. That’s where true happiness springs from.

  35. Jon

    Rule #6 is my mantra. Simply don’t be negative. It’s quite easy to do so do it!

  36. I totally agree with #3, you have to believe in yourself and why do something you do not enjoy doing especially since you are probably there more than you are at home!

  37. These are wonderful tips. I do follow most of them but it seems I should follow all to really love myself more. I’m gonna share this post.

  38. Elizabeth O.

    Always forgive yourself. Alhough it’s hard, it’s a most helpful tip in life.

  39. Elizabeth O.

    Always forgive yourself. Everything else follows.

  40. I firmly believe in doing something you love. I tell everyone that who constantly complain about their jobs & are becoming sick because of it. Definitely gotta love yourself before all else!

  41. These are definitely great tips. I think you first have to love yourself before anyone else can love you.

  42. Everything you do is a reflection of your character so it would be important to think before you act.

  43. These are great steps for truly loving yourself. I love this and I don’t think many have even really asked if they truly love their self. Thanks for sharing.

  44. R U S S

    This is such a nice post, a good reminder too – especially if you’ve been to hard on yourself. Often, we give so much of ourselves, our time, our efforts to others that we tend to forget about ourselves. It’s important to not forget to love yourself, for one’s own sanity and for us to really value whatever it is that we have.

  45. Aw all of these are true. Thanks for sharing

  46. Also, being positive can really boost one’s spirit. It can give us a better aura.

  47. I think loving ourselves is one of the hardest things in life. But, I feel that we have to love ourselves to be able to truly love anyone else.

  48. Great tips ! Having a positive attitude, accepting yourself for what you are, and treating yourself like a friend are really important.

  49. I do love myself. After making it through a rough situation. :)

  50. This is some advice. It can be hard to love yourself at times. I know I have days where I am just frustrated. Thank you for sharing!!! I really love this post!!!

  51. Great post! :) Funny thing is… I keep a gratitude journal! And I always find one thing special about myself and tell myself that using a mirror. :)

  52. Yes, loving yourself if VERY important. I put this message out once and many people mixed it up with being selfish and uncaring. But the focus is to NOT neglect your own needs!

  53. Positivity is SO important. Thanks for the motivation today.

  54. Great tips and ideas to inspire us to truly love ourselves. I find that selfless acts and loving others brings me gratification which in itself inspires loving myself

  55. Those are all really great advice and I can say that I truly do a few of those because who can ever love you more than you.

  56. What a lovely message and reminder to love ourselves. Sometimes it’s easier to take care of everyone else, but it is definitely important to make time to focus on our own needs too. I like the gratitude journal idea. I may have to start one of my own!

  57. Learn to forgive yourself… that is huge. You try but sometimes you don’t get it right. Good advice.

  58. We truly have to love ourselves first before we can love other people because if not, it will affect the relationship. Most of us are guilty of the number 4. Past is past and we have to get over it – whether it was our fault or someone else’s. We have to learn how to forgive. Once we do, we get that freedom and peace of mind which will help us focus or do the other numbers in this post… at least for my opinion.

    Nice post! It reminded me of a few things.

  59. As someone who suffers from low self esteem, this is very hard for me. I think the first step is realizing that I don’t have to be perfect to be lovable!

  60. Self acceptance is sometimes the most difficult. We need to be able to face ourselves and our internal judgements.

  61. Self love is hard to obtain, but so worth the effort. It can make a huge impact on your children too..

  62. Sometimes I really forgot to nurture myself because I think of others, work hard so I can provide the needs of my love ones. Sometimes I feel pity to myself and ask myself who cares for me? Thank God He gave me someone who’ll love me tenderly.

  63. “I love myself” – This line is always on my mind. <3 It's important to everyone to love yourself first.
    Anyways. Great tips! :)

  64. Jason Panuelos

    Super duper agree. There is no greater prize than when you learn to truly love yourself and value yourself for the individual that you are! :D

  65. The hit song Greatest Love of All also has this important message which we forget especially when we are raising our own family already. Our kids will also feel it if we do not love ourselves first.

  66. Loving yourself is so important. Its almost impossible to love someone else fully or even expect someone to love you if you can’t even love yourself.

  67. I love myself although it took a while before I made peace with me.. but yes all the tips you mentioned helps a lot!

  68. I used to be my own worst enemy when I was younger. I’ve learned how to love myself as I’ve gotten older. It is so true that if you don’t love yourself, it is hard for others to love you.

  69. Giving into what everyone else wants of me has been a huge shortcoming for myself in the past. I’m much happier doing what’s more important for my own family.

  70. Chrissy Mazzocchi

    I definetley need to take some of these tips, thanks so much for this!

  71. You can’t really love other people unless you love yourself.

  72. These are great tips! Often we are so busy loving everyone else that we forget about loving ourselves and that’s where it should really all begin.

  73. Love yourself first before anyone else. #3 and #7 i think is the best in the list.

  74. One of the best ways to remind myself of my worth is to go back to who God says I am. :)

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