Have you ever been on a slump?
– To fall or sink heavily; collapse: She slumped, exhausted, onto the sofa.
– To droop, as in sitting or standing; slouch.
– To decline suddenly; fall off: (ex. Business slumped after the holidays.)
– To perform poorly or inadequately: (ex. The team has been slumping for a month.)
– The act or an instance of slumping.
– A drooping or slouching posture
– A sudden falling off or decline, as in activity, prices, or business
– An extended period of poor performance, especially in a sport or competitive activity
To be honest, I am in a slump lately.
Sometimes being in a slump has its own reasons. It can happen to anyone in any situation or occasion especially when we encounter frustrating situations. We tend to doubt things, doubt ourselves – many reasons, really. Being in a slump varies with your career, sports, studies and even in your personal life. It’s really not an easy thing to deal with as it makes you feel stuck and confused with everything and sometimes, even with yourself. Either way, one thing I am very sure of is that being in a slump would mean you have been building a lot of stress and frustrations to the point you yourself can’t handle it anymore. All you can ever do is stop everything – relax and try to enjoy life. It all comes down to having a spark or inspiration to keep yourself going again. It’s more of an internal experience, really.. because only you yourself will be the only one who can overcome it.
As for me, I am still not over it. I’m trying my best to get out of the slump that I’m at. I am not even sure why I have been in a slump. It’s complicated to explain. Maybe because I don’t have a goal or inspiration to work on – when nothing keeps you going, it can be quite hard especially for me who is driven by challenge. So when there is no challenge… I find myself being in a slump and I just want to stop doing anything. Challenge keeps us going but then again, the challenge must be something you want right? But what if I don’t find something that I want? Sigh.. That is what I have been working on.
Not everyone knows it yet but I went back to school. I’m studying 3D Animation this October 2013 at CIIT Philippine Multimedia, Digital Art and IT School. To be honest, at the moment this is what is keeping me going. I’ve always love tweaking the computer even though I am not good at it. I really suck at anything computer related. There would be times I would mess everything up even with my own website. It’s quite a hassle to some of my colleague who tries to fix my website to help me. Then again, I love what I do. I suck at it but I love it.
It actually made me realised what I wanted to do when I was in high school. I’m actually the quiet type during those days not because I am obedient or someone who studies hard. In fact, I don’t. During class I would write fan fiction stories or short novels for my own satisfaction. Whenever I see my classmates reading it and having fun with it than focusing on class – it gave me a sense of fulfilment.
Everyone actually thought I was going for journalism for college. Unfortunately, I made quite a mess with college. I went from one courses to another. I had a slump at that time too. I don’t think I have overcome that slump ’till now that I think about it.
I took college because it was the obvious thing to do – not because I wanted it nor inspired with working and being in the real world. I doubted myself since that time. What made it really worst is the fact, I felt I can do anything no matter what occupation it may be. I tried different things – I’m good at it. I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging but it didn’t really do good for me.. simply because I wasn’t really passionate with the things I’ve done. I just hated losing.
So aside from going with the flow of life and bumming around for a week or so.. I found myself going back like I did way back in high chool. Actually, not stories. There was something I honestly realised way back.. I am good at making stories but I can’t seem to end them. Plus, I’ve always wanted to make a manga out of it, too. Unfortunately, it was then that I realised no matter what stories I make, I can never do it. I don’t really have any drawing skills. I don’t understand art that well, too.
Before making any stories, it was crystal clear to me that I need to learn and develop other skills first – like drawing, digital art, coding, programming and many more. It’s hard and it could be impossible to do alone but it’s always a start. In fact, I haven’t been so excited in going back to school like I feel right now. I’m not sure if I have gotten out of the slump that I had.. but I am trying. Every day, I am trying my best.
Yesterday, I drew this anime girl portrait – it’s not that nice and perfect or anything but honestly, this is the best that I did so far (believe me, my other drawings are far worst, lol!). Not perfect but somehow, it gave me satisfaction and a drive to try even harder.
Honestly, I told myself that after honing my drawing and digital art skills, I want to at least make a game out of it. Even just a mini game would do. Right now, it’s the one thing I one more than anything else! I guess in my own pace and in my own way.. I am slowly getting out of the slump I got myself into, right? *wink*
PS. I’ve posted this on my Deviantart. Feel free to comment or anything when you have the time! http://msaishakristine.deviantart.com/art/Trying-to-Draw-an-Anime-Girl-406925433