Being able to finish and reflect everything you will be able to read here to your own love life situation will make you to be able to get to the heart of the matter in your own situation.
Just remember that it will cause you 3 kinds of emotions: Relief – Anxiety – Anger as we get to the truth of the status if your man really loves your or is just playing around until someone new comes along.
Okay. Now that we have covered those concepts and had a pretty much idea on the basics. (In which you should have read first about the concepts and reality between men and women on my earlier blog entry. If you haven’t read about it, please do so first.. before proceeding.)
Let us now get to the questions you need to ask yourself and for you to be able to know If He Really loves You. (Note your scores for these questions!)
1.Does he say “I love you”
Well yeah, duh.. Obviously.
Yet, most guys grew up as socialized people thus they may tend to say that easy unlike women who treats this words as a sign of commitment. Well, it really is and it should be.
If he says “I love you” too early, that’s actually a BAD sign especially if he is saying this on the first and second date – or if you only just met this person online – already talking about future and the kids, being together forever, etc.. He isn’t looking for a wife or a girlfriend, he might be looking for a mother.
Yet again, How often he says it isn’t the most important part and even the word “love” isn’t the important part.
Does the guy you are with or you are with in the past says… how much he adores you, how great you are – at least few times a month (more is better) how he cares and compliments you. Does he goes out his way to say these words and express them to show you his feelings (not because it’s a routine, if you know what I mean).
If he does say and do those things for you.. then give yourself a point but unfortunately, if he doesn’t…. don’t give yourself a point. It doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you.. he just may not be able to express it in such a way.
2. Does He Make You A Priority in His Life
Take note, I did say “A” priority in his life and this is different with “THE” priority in his life.
Actions speak louder than words and it’s harder to lie with your body.
Now with every man, to be in a loving relationship.. you should be in his top 3 priorities.
Making you a priority can differs to every men, it could be making dinner for you, going to a function he actually hates – but will go just for you. Making out time in his schedule (adjusting his!) just for you. Giving you occasional little gift (for no particular reason). Now it doesn’t mean he needs to do this all the time but if a guy loves you, he will make you number one at least, SOMETIMES.
Do take note that we are not talking about “grand” gestures – like expensive gifts, trips and things like that. I honestly do not like grand things (personally) as sometimes, you will never know how true and genuine it could be… unless I could feel the sincerity, ofcourse.
Yet again, love is something you can do and show, everyday – in your own ways.
So if you think you relate to this, a point for you if yes and no points if no.
3. Does He Tell His Friends About You And Show You Off?
A very simple question to ask yourself is..
Have you met his best friends and family and has he made you a bigger part of his family and life?
If he is separating you from the rest of his life, there could be something fishy going on. It’s either he is “ashamed” of you in some way or he is hiding something.
A man who is in love with his woman and adores his woman would want to show his woman off.
So, does he show you off? Does he talk to his friends about you or doe she kind of.. hide you away – isolating you in some way?
If you can say that, yes.. he does show you off, proud of you and makes you a part of his life, that’s one point. No points if he doesn’t.
4. Does He Care About “Your Pleasure” During Sex…
This is actually a very simple question, is he 100% focused on himself or does he care about your pleasure?
Actually, a great indicator of this is a simple one…
Does he ever open his eyes while you are making love? Does he look at you when you are making love? Does he talk to you while you are making love? or does he have his eyes close… internally focused and might be an indicator that he is thinking of somebody eyes or something else.
Well, if he does care about your pleasure and makes you feel good, that’s one point.. and if he does not – no points.
(If you haven’t had sex yet.. you may consider to really think and notice if he does care about you in the relationship – focusing on what makes you happy and your needs met… and not just being on his solo world, focusing on what makes him feel good and comfortable.)
5. Does He Respect You And Encourage You
Now, this is really a big one and I have to say you should pay attention to this.
Respect is a powerful word in this context. What I mean by “respect” is “Does he value your opinion, do you share important decisions and does he treat you like a partner instead of an accessory?”
Also, does he encourage you to have friends, interests and passions outside the relationship?
(Jealousy is not love, though it is easy to get confused.)
Now if he does respect and encourage you, give yourself a point to this and no points if he doesn’t.
6. Do Your Friends Like The Way He Treats You?
First of all, he is not Romeo and you are not Juliet. It is not you and him against the world, lol.. that’s crazy, haha!
Your friends are often a better judge of a guy than you. The reaction you have for your guy, the feelings and intensity connection makes it really difficult for you to know if the guy is really good and right for you – if he is treating you “RIGHT.”
Now, just simply ask your close friends or particularly your close male friends (brothers, cousins, exes – whatever). They normally have the “douche bag radar” in which they will be able to say and tell you if the man you are with is genuinely loving you and true to you – nor not.
Give yourself a point if this is a yes on you and no points if no.
7. Does He Look at You with LUST and PHYSICAL APPRECIATION?
Just to be clear, this does not mean “does he look at you and only you” – remember, that does not exist with real guys.
BUT.. you may need to observe and notice…
Does he check you out?
Does he objectify you in some way?
The visual is VERY important to guys and if he’s not looking, he’s not physically attracted anymore.
So if he does look at you that way, give yourself a point – no points if he doesn’t.
(In simple terms, does he notice how you look – compliments you and tell you how he finds it attractive – how he is into you, etc.)
So, to answer the big question…
Does He “Really” Love You?
– Depends on how you define “love”
– All 7 points – He thinks you’re an angel and he is good at showing it!
– 5 or 6 points – He loves you. So try to be optimistic and focus on the good.
– 3 or 4 points – He mostly loves you.. it could be that he is having a hard time expressing it.
– 1 or 2 points or ZERO. Douchbag. Run. He’s using you or he resents you.
So, did you feel any relief, anger or worry?
Fortunately, I got all 7 for my love life! ; )
So, What’s your score? Does he really love you?
My boyfriend says: I don’t believe in score cards – no one can determine if he really loves you or not. It depends on the people in the relationship.
Honestly, that is true, too – but don’t you think at the very least these questions should be really a “yes” if he does loves you? ; ) When I told him I got all 7 – he just smiled and finally didn’t say a word, lol! (whew, haha!)