Before we get into that part, there are things I’d want all women to understand, have a wake-up call of a glimpse of reality about men and women regarding love and relationships.
1. A woman’s insecurity can kill a man’s love.
* Your boyfriend tells you he loves you and you do not believe him.
* You are always asking him if he loves you and when he starts to answers that he do – you refuse to believe him.
* You are wondering why he doesn’t do anything for you yet not realizing that your man has become afraid to do anything nice for you because it always just blows up in his face.
All these could cause frustrations from your man and would make them think why are they with you in the first place.
In other words, constant toxic insecurity and neediness, being constantly needing a man to PROVE how much he loves you and refusing to believe him no matter what he does or what he says is devastating to a man’s ego and destroy his sense of masculine power and pride which quickly drains the love out of him like a water from a sieve.
2. It is impossible to be loved unless you love yourself first.
A lot of women fall into the trap of putting all of their self worth and self esteem into their man. This is WAY too much pressure to put on a guy.
If you don’t like yourself (love yourself, actually) it’s going to be almost “impossible” to have a life-long committed relationship with a guy.
A man can’t “make” you happy any more than you can “make” him happy. But you CAN help each other along the way.
3. Men Aren’t Women.
There’s a great quote from Dr. John Gray (the author of Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars – it’s a great read, I highly recommend!) who says: (And men treat women like incompetent men.) That’s both hilarious and true.
One of the reasons so many women spend all their time in anxiety is because they want their guy to express love the exact way they do and get FURIOUS when they do not. Men aren’t women and they don’t communicate the EXACT same way women do either.
4. “Love” means Different Things to Different People.
This is really important to understand, if not.. probably the most important thing.
Love is just like snow. Every flake is different. Actually, we should really have different words for what we mean by “Love” because “Love” can easily get mixed up with lust, companionship, respect, fear of being alone and obsession.
What “Love” Meant to “too” Many Women:
“Is he obsessed with me like that vampire from “Twilight”, does he desire me and ONLY me, would be protect me from dragons, does he think about me ALL the time, does his penis shrivel up if he even THINKS about another girl, will he be MINE forever and ONLY mine, does he LOVE me????” (Whew and Wow, haha!)
What Men Often Mean by “Love” is…
“Do I like how I feel when she’s around” or “Am I satisfied with her” or “Does the idea of her with somebody else make me want to rip the head off a Buffalo and wear it as a hat.”
Now, I’m not saying men aren’t capable of deep and abiding love…
I am just saying that a man’s love “usually” isn’t of the crazy stalker variety some women seem to need to “prove” that he is in love with her (and which would get him thrown in prison if it happened in real life).
A clearer idea of the gap and conclusion to all these details about men and women:
* Women want obsession and devotion, men want appreciation and respect.
* To be happy, both sides need to give a little or a lot to learn to read the signals the other is giving off.
* Do it right and you’ll fit together like a puzzle piece.
* Do it wrong.. and you’ll never find happiness.
Now, this doesn’t mean that it is only you who has to change – no, not at all!
There are certainly women who find themselves in relationships with assholes, douche bags and users who don’t really love them but are just keeping them around for sex, money, and a warm body to be next to until somebody “better” comes along.
The Key is learning to tell the good from the bad. To run from the players, douche bags and users. And to make sure you don’t push away the “great guys” by mistake.
Note: Since, it would be a very long post if I continue on, please do check back on the site tomorrow’s update for the part 2 as I tell and share everyone the questions you may need to ask to observe and reflect your love life situation that will determine the very heart of the matter in your relationship and also to really know if the man you are with right now, really loves you – uses you or just waiting around until someone new and better comes along.
Here’s the link: How to Know If He Really Loves You