So you’ve tried online dating and there are only two words to describe your experience: crash and burn. You actually had high hopes that joining an online dating site would dramatically increase your dating pool. Alas, try as you might, you just can’t seem to get quality dates. A few winks and messages here and there that lead nowhere, or actual meetups that end disastrously. And you thought online dating would be a walk in the park!
Don’t throw in the towel just yet and resign yourself to a life of spinsterhood. Here are a few possible reasons why you may be sabotaging your own dating game.
1. Your doubts are weighing you down
The stigma attached to online dating has somehow eased up, yet many still can’t shake off the feeling that online dating is merely for the desperate, a poor caricature of real world dating. Perhaps deep down, you are completely leery about the whole concept of online dating to begin with? Do you shudder at the thought of being labelled as the woman who met her boyfriend online? Such fears may be giving off negative vibes to potential dates. Joining online dating sites is a lot more common than you think, and besides, if you use the Internet to buy stuff and network with other people, why not use it to find dates?
2. You are too shy to promote yourself
When you apply for jobs you submit a resume and a cover letter; when you look for love online you create a killer profile. Either way you are trying to promote yourself, and not all people are good at it. Don’t play modest and say you don’t know how to describe yourself. For heaven’s sake, you’re on a dating site and you know yourself better than anyone on the planet!
Does your profile do justice describing yourself or are you selling yourself short? And oh, a neighbour, or a colleague or a friend of a friend might recognize you and start blabbing that you’re on a dating site so yeah, better no picture. For every profile that has no picture, there are ten others with not just one but several photos and you’re doing yourself a great disservice if you choose to be camera shy. Guys are visual creatures whether online or offline, and you will find that even those who don’t have photos actually browse profiles with one! If you want to succeed with meeting singles on dating sites, you have to go full throttle.
3. You weed out “bad” matches too quickly
You don’t like the same food and music? He’s not tall enough? Not an outdoorsy person like yourself? Perhaps you’ve been fantasizing that someone who looks exactly like Liam Hemsworth, has the same height and body type, and the same hottie Aussie accent, will cross paths with you on a dating site and prove to be your cosmic mate. You two even read the same books, watch the same movies, listen to the same music – practically share the same tastes in EVERYTHING. Soon the two of you will ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. If you continue with a mindset like this, you could be setting yourself up for online dating failure.
Online dating works if you approach it with an open mind, a sense of adventure, and a good doze of common sense. Take pleasure in meeting new people and don’t get discouraged by bad dates. If your initial foray into the online dating scene proves ill-fated, go back and polish your profile, take the advice of dating gurus to heart then dive back in!