Are You Sabotaging Your Online Dating Game?

So you’ve tried online dating and there are only two words to describe your experience: crash and burn. You actually had high hopes that joining an online dating site would dramatically increase your dating pool. Alas, try as you might, you just can’t seem to get quality dates. A few winks and messages here and there that lead nowhere, or actual meetups that end disastrously. And you thought online dating would be a walk in the park!


Don’t throw in the towel just yet and resign yourself to a life of spinsterhood. Here are a few possible reasons why you may be sabotaging your own dating game.


1. Your doubts are weighing you down

The stigma attached to online dating has somehow eased up, yet many still can’t shake off the feeling that online dating is merely for the desperate, a poor caricature of real world dating. Perhaps deep down, you are completely leery about the whole concept of online dating to begin with? Do you shudder at the thought of being labelled as the woman who met her boyfriend online? Such fears may be giving off negative vibes to potential dates. Joining online dating sites is a lot more common than you think, and besides, if you use the Internet to buy stuff and network with other people, why not use it to find dates?


2. You are too shy to promote yourself

When you apply for jobs you submit a resume and a cover letter; when you look for love online you create a killer profile. Either way you are trying to promote yourself, and not all people are good at it. Don’t play modest and say you don’t know how to describe yourself. For heaven’s sake, you’re on a dating site and you know yourself better than anyone on the planet!

Does your profile do justice describing yourself or are you selling yourself short? And oh, a neighbour, or a colleague or a friend of a friend might recognize you and start blabbing that you’re on a dating site so yeah, better no picture. For every profile that has no picture, there are ten others with not just one but several photos and you’re doing yourself a great disservice if you choose to be camera shy. Guys are visual creatures whether online or offline, and you will find that even those who don’t have photos actually browse profiles with one! If you want to succeed with meeting singles on dating sites, you have to go full throttle.


3. You weed out “bad” matches too quickly

You don’t like the same food and music? He’s not tall enough? Not an outdoorsy person like yourself? Perhaps you’ve been fantasizing that someone who looks exactly like Liam Hemsworth, has the same height and body type, and the same hottie Aussie accent, will cross paths with you on a dating site and prove to be your cosmic mate. You two even read the same books, watch the same movies, listen to the same music – practically share the same tastes in EVERYTHING. Soon the two of you will ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. If you continue with a mindset like this, you could be setting yourself up for online dating failure.

Online dating works if you approach it with an open mind, a sense of adventure, and a good doze of common sense. Take pleasure in meeting new people and don’t get discouraged by bad dates. If your initial foray into the online dating scene proves ill-fated, go back and polish your profile, take the advice of dating gurus to heart then dive back in!

February 23rd, 2014
Filed Under: Love & Relationships
Tags: , ,

48 Comments to Are You Sabotaging Your Online Dating Game?

  1. I have never tried online dating. I do know others that have though… some had good experiences, some bad. I am just glad I am married and don’t have to think about dating.

  2. I am really surprised that dating is stressful for my single friends. I am so glad that I am out of the dating scene.

  3. Same as Terry, I have never tried online dating because I was too busy with studies during college and immediately had a boyfriend after graduation so the only guy I ever dated is him.

  4. In these times, online dating becomes a must for singles who have not found their right partners because workplace and school sometimes only gives a limited connection.

  5. For some people, online dating fits their requirements to find a partners, but for others it;s a no-no thing. Well, it’s some kind of new dating for new generation.

  6. I am much more of chatting girls than talking to them personally. I would love to do online dating so soon… :)

  7. I am quite hesitant to try online dating, but IDK, I have an open mind and I might give it a try someday

  8. I guess an open mind really helps in online dating as it can become a little bit crazy though on the flipside can find you a good match.

  9. I like online dating and I used to do that very often,sometimes it worked and sometimes it doesn’t. :)

  10. We should not be shy too as there’s only a slim window when it comes to online dating.

  11. I never tried engaging with online dating game though I am hearing it from friends. Now I am curious if this might work on me and I should mark your advice here .

  12. Ohhh online dating sounds fun if only I am not taken I’ll try this ha-ha and single ones should def go into this.I know some who joined this and they told me that it was fun. Yeah I guess if you’re into this do not expect of perfection and just have fun meeting different types of people.

    Have you tried this already?

  13. I think promoting yourself is tough for a lot of people. It can come off as bragging or being conceited – there is a fine line with that one.

    • I have to agree! I guess it’s more about being able to tell what your qualities are.. and what you are looking for is perfect. :) Simple yet direct to the point!

  14. wow.. this is indeed a helpful post for people who is trying online dating.. Your points are all correct. :)

  15. LOL never tried online dating. I don’t like dating someone I don’t really know. Hehe :)

  16. i never tried online dating even when I’m still single.. hehehe

  17. So glad i do not have to deal with all that lol so happy to not have to try dating anymore.

  18. I’ve never tried online dating.

  19. Online dating’s for new generation who believe the power of the internet. Their attitude towards this medium conforms to their trust that has been molding to their characters.

  20. I met my husband online! It’s funny for us to see how popular it is now :)

  21. I’ve never been online dating, I have heard of successful and unsuccessful stories though. It definitely a different way to find people though :) X

  22. I am Canadian and met my husband online thought a mutual friend not using a online dating site at all. I moved from Canada to Michigan. It can happen if you have the right emotional connection with the person on the other end first before you meet then the physical connection happens when you first meet in person.
    trick is don’t limit yourself be open to any possibility

  23. mel

    I used to do online dating and I could tell you it works. My best friend married this way.

  24. Never tried online dating. During my time, dating meant really taking the girl out and talking face to face. :-)

  25. I tried online dating when I was younger, but never really liked having a relationship with someone I couldn’t touch.

  26. Getting to know each other takes time and it’s the critical time you need.

  27. nice help here. i guess it is always a nice thing to be no one but yourself and be your self to anyone and no pretending. that makes it all easier.

  28. Online dating has come of age. I have a few friend who have found good matches online. Although I think nothing beats the conventional style.

  29. Honestly, I am afraid to try this. Friends are encouraging me to do online dating, but I am hesitant. Thanks so much for the tips here sis…thinking now why not try it. Push na natin ito! Whew! Kaya ko ‘to…hahahahaha

  30. I have to say I would never try this – I am always so afraid there would be a 500 lb trucker on the other side of the computer.

  31. I think it’s important that we take a second look at those we weed out because not everything comes in first sight.

  32. I’ve never tried this and I don’t have plans to try it as well but I have a friend who were into online before where she met her 3 years boyfriend, and they are still great together until now. :)

  33. I’ve tried out online dating sites and had both good and not so good results. LOL. The tips you shared her are really useful. Wish I knew some of them back then.

  34. Online dating is definitely not my thing. You never know who’s the one, on the other side of monitor and laughing at us :$

  35. Thanks for sharing these tips. I’m sure those who are into online dating will find these useful.

  36. Patricia

    I met my husband online and consider myself very lucky. He lived in Florida at the time and me in Mass. He moved all the way to Mass to meet me and luckily it went well and we married 2 years later. We now have 4 children. It is tough I think in the dating world especially online and it gets scarier as years go on.

  37. I honestly haven’t tried online dating but now that I have read this, im thinking of actually considering it. haha :)

  38. I remember the days, when I was to desperate to have a date, I went to online dating. But unfortunately I chickened on the last minute lol.

  39. this is why i am so happy to be out of the dating field.

  40. I have 3 or 4 friends that are doing online dating right now. I am going to share this post with them!

  41. I think it’s great , there’s so many ways to meet people now and some really do find their true love through dating online. It’s how I met my husband! Were in our 12th year :)

  42. Eliz Frank

    How refreshing1 I always read a different type of story so its nice to see someone encourage online dates. Not for me right now.

  43. I will share this to my sister who is into online dating.

  44. the trend of online dating honestly do not amuse me, maybe because i am still an old school when it comes to those matters hehe

  45. It only takes a minute to check and may help you save several money.

  46. heh…….very intresting.

  47. Hehehe……………..

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