Falling in love is a wonderful thing, but too often couples rush into marriage without knowing much about each other. This often leads to divorce. In the United States, fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. If you want to give your marriage a fighting chance, be sure to learn these seven things about your partner before tying the knot.
1. Does Your Partner Want To Start A Family? – Planning a family is an important part of marriage. If you want kids and your partner doesn’t, or vice versa, the disagreement can create a serious rift in the relationship. For some men and women, reproducing is a nonnegotiable issue, so it’s important to have this conversation with your partner before you agree to spend the rest of your lives together. Even if the two of you disagree on whether or not to have kids, there is still plenty of room for compromise, and it’s better to get that stuff out of the way sooner rather than later. If you do want a family, you can make both of your lives easier by purchasing a baby monitor.
2. Does Your Partner Have Any Addictions? – Addictions to drugs and alcohol can damage a marriage beyond repair. These addictions are expensive, time consuming, and can alter the personality of the addict in a negative way. Also, even if your partner is clean and sober, a history of addiction might mean that they will relapse in the future. It’s okay to marry someone with addictions, as long as you know what you’re getting into before you sign up for such a major commitment. Knowing about the addiction beforehand will keep you from being caught off guard, and will allow you to give your partner the treatment they need to get better.
3. Does Your Partner Have Any Debt? – The last thing you want after making a marriage commitment is to discover your partner has crippling financial debt. Marriage is a legal institution that, in some cases, makes you responsible for your partner’s debt. In certain circumstances, the debt of a marriage partner can mean that both of your credit scores will be ruined. That makes it harder to get loans for homes and automobiles. Ask your partner if they have any debt. Be kind about it, and offer to help them clear it up, but make sure you know one way or the other before tying the knot.
4. What Are Your Partner’s Religious Beliefs? – While it may seem trivial to question your partner about their religious beliefs, it is important to know if their views will clash with your own in a significant way. For example, if you are a Christian and your partner is a Satanist, Sunday mornings will be awkward. If your partner is a member of a Doomsday cult that believes the world will explode, you’ll want to know that before putting a ring on their finger. Chances are good that your partner’s religious beliefs will be tame and harmless, if they even have any at all, but when it comes to a lifetime commitment it’s better to be safe than sorry.
5. Does Your Partner Have A Dangerous Past? – Has your partner ever spent time in jail? Have they ever been prone to fits of violent rage? Do they have any unsavory jealous ex-lovers who might appear out of nowhere someday? These are questions you will definitely want the answers to before walking down the aisle. Your personal safety and peace of mind depend on knowing if your partner has a dangerous past, and it’s only common courtesy for them to be honest about it with you. You are going to be spending the rest of your life with this person, and it’s important to know about any dangerous baggage they might be bringing along.
6. What Are Your Partner’s Political Beliefs? – Opposing political beliefs can cause a lot of nasty arguments in a marriage. Two people don’t need to share the same politics to build a happy marriage, but you’ll want to find out ahead of time if your partner has any political ideas that you simply cannot tolerate. For example, of you are a pacifist you might have difficulty being married to a rabid warmonger. This would also be a good opportunity to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to major issues like race and gender equality. It’s not the end of the world if the two of you don’t always agree on politics, but any possible political deal-breaker should be discovered before it’s too late to back out.
7. Does Your Partner Have Serious Medical Issues? – Medical issues can mean a couple different things. If your partner has a mental disorder, you might want to ensure that they’re receiving the proper care and that they don’t pose any threat to you. The second type of medical issue is a debilitating illness that will force you to spend the rest of your life being a caregiver to a very sick person. Perhaps you love your partner enough to make that sacrifice, but do yourself a favor and find out before the wedding. If you know about a serious illness ahead of time, you can weigh the pros and cons and make an educated decision.
Discovering the answers to these seven questions will give your marriage a good chance of going the distance, something that is a pretty big deal in a society where only half of marriages survive. While it may be next to impossible to discover what all women and all men secretly want out of life, you can at least find out what your partner wants and use this valuable information to build a strong lasting marriage. Remember that obstacles can sometimes be tolerated or even overcome altogether. The only way to know if your partner is right for you is to learn the most important things about them. If you fail to take these precautions, your marriage won’t stand a chance.